One year on...

I am brimming with pride - the little darling has completed her first year - and is absolutely adorable.  I am also shamefaced that I have been a lazy Zayde in not blogging about her for the ;ast 3 months - shame on Solly I say!!!  No real excuses, I was travelling quite a bit and also my daughter had moved out of London so it has become quite a journey to visit them.

The Bugaboo also has its birthday present - a special foot muff in matching orange so that the tootsies are kept warm and happy this winter.  These Bugaboo people have the market sewn up, all the accessories that fit and match the original buggy and at 3 times the price of alternative products.  Out of interest I asked the sales person at John Lewis  if other foot muffs would work just as well.  She said 'Yes, but most people with a Bugaboo, get the Bugaboo version although the price is much higher.'  I am sure it will look great, all in bright orange and making a great combo with the yellow raincoat I also got the darling for her special day.


She is almost at toddling stage, she stands very elegantly - ballerina I think - and has a great smile and racous laugh which has a 'Solly' sound to it.

I will try to be better Zayde blogger during the coming months.

She is crawling - backwards..

Nine months on and wow how she has grown! From early concerns about her being underweight to current thoughts that she might be a chubby darling the past 9 months have flashed by.  Unfortunately I have been away a lot of the summer and will not see her again until september.  So, I just wanted to update my readers that all is well and zaydehood is going strong.  I will start blogging again seriously when I return to London.

7 Months on.

How quickly the time passes.  It is now 7 months since I joined the 'Zayde' community.  I feel my loife has changed in many ways.  I was so excited to travel down to see the darling this week, she has grown so much in the month I was away.  She can now hold up her head and she is beginning to crawl.  And, my how she giggles - this is a kid with a big sense of humour.  She has plenty to be happy about anyway, with adoring parents and 2 sets of adoring grandparents she came into the worls with a ready made fan club.

We went for lunch, pushing the famous Bugaboo and after we drifted into Carluccios coffee emporium.  Jokingly ordered a coffee for myself and my daughter and the little one.  The waitress noted it doen - '2 Capuccinos and 1 'babycinno''.. Yes really, a 'babycinno'!!!  I explained I was only being flippant but the waitress was unfazed.  No doubt she will soon be emailing from her 'Baby-pad' - the baby market is growing exponentially and my little darling will be the happy recipient.

Solly Eats Olives - the Angel Eats Spinach

Yes she is enjoying her solids!  How lovely to be tasting things for the very first time.  She enthusiastically munches her spinach - I have the photos to prove it! - so she obviously has healthy little taste buds.  I remember the first time I ate salt beef,  it was at a local N.London cafe/takeaway and I was 12 at the time.  I was with some friends after a night at the local jewish youth club and we went to this 'nosherie' and bought salt beef and lutkes.  it was then that I realised that we were without doubt 'the chosen people'.  I look forward to taking my little granddaughter for her first salt beef on rye sandwich - maybe at Reubens (so few good places left now) - I am sure she will also feel the weight of Judaic history on her shoulders - I will add a hamishe cucumber for good measure ;-)

Limit to Solly's talents

To those who have asked, I am not connected in any way to Solly's restaurant in Golders Green.  I have done many things over the years but selling takeaway falafel isn't one of them.  I am sure it is a great restaurant and I will go there next week with Dov, Myra and the family.  We will be incognito though, Solly is a shy Zayde.

Old Jews telling jokes

I just had a great laugh watching the old jews telling jokes site on youtube.  This is Solly's #1 site of the whole year it is just splendid and one of the joke tellers looks just like Solly - I won't tell you which one though.

Really miss the little darling

It is getting very sad for me to be away from base for so long.  It is now a month since I have seen my little granddaughter and she is already more than 6 months old.  It doesnt seem possible.  She is never out of my mind though and last week I found the cutest pair of jeans for her that should be just the right size when i get bcak home in a couple of weeks time.  She can learn to 'toddle' in them.  My God though, they are so small to look at, but they are marked for one year old so I guess she should fit in them perfectly.  She is beginning to chubby up really well after what you might recall was a slow start.  Lets hope ot stops here though - i dont want her ending up on my friend Brian's site which is for fat people.

Solly eats more olives

Well, young Mikey is earning his Pesach geldt, the fleecedzayde has had lots of new visits from people seeking the 'zayde experience' and they have come from some wonderful places like 'blogagago' and 'Digg'.  This whole SEO thing is fascinating for me.  People obviously spend more than half their life floating around these sites and then checking out links.  Mikey says that 'link building' is 'where its at' and a required form of ritual worship to the 'Google God'.   Mr google who apparently says that "Online, thou shalt have no other God but me'...

Mikey has started to teach me the 10 commandments as set out by God Google: Here they are

1) Thalt shall fear no other search engine but me.
2) Thou shalt post regularly on thy blog
3) Thou shall seek to link with other sites that are in thy God's domain
4) Thou shalt not spam
5) Thou shalt shun the company of false directories and link factories
6) Thou shalt labor online for the sake of thy Google all the hours of thy day
7) Thou shalt consecrate a tithe of all your earnings to Google Adwords
8) Thou shalt perform all sacred rituals of social networking
9) Thous shalt perform holy ablutions amongst the priest of the facebook.
10) Thou shalt twitter for thy God likes the sound of twittering.

Solly is a 'golden oldie'

I'm writing this post on my trendy iPad listening to golden oldies station on 'tuned in radio' how great is that. Solly might be an oldie but us guys from the 60s really knew how to party. I actually remember a lot of what went on so I probably didn't experience it as intensely as I should have. I wonder what sort of world my little darling will grow up in. Us oldies are quite different fom previous generations - we won't give up easily. I remember my own zayde and he was ancient at 60 - not blogging like solly or keeping up with a changing world. Zaydehood is a powerful force - you kids shouldn't forget. Ooh, that's an elvis track, just what I wanted.

Solly Eats Olives!!

Its the only way I will remember this acronym SEO that Mikey keeps emailing to me.  I think he is just short of funds and sees his uncle Solly as an easy touch at Pesach.  Young Mikey got me to set up a Paypal account 6 months ago so I could buy baby bargains on ebay and when he does some work for my blog I send money from my paypal account to his paypal account  Oy, Paypal, Google and Skype are all doing very well out of Solly.  How they managed before I became a Zayde I shudder to think.   Mikey has hit me for 20 quid for some SEO (Solly Eats Olives) work.  It is all called Social bookmarking.  Mikey has added thefleecedzayde to his list of social bookmarking accounts.  He explained that it means that he recommends my blog to other people on the web.  I was a bit sceptical but I had a big influx of viewers yeserday from something called 'Stumble ' it sounds like Solly after a hard day;-)   How Mikey and his friends keep up with all this stuff beats me.

He also mentioned something about 'feeds' which soundd like salt beef on rye,  but no there is another clever goy out there called Mr Rss Feed or something who wants to harvest my posts.  I give up!  Anyway Mr google sent me some money this month - I told you he loves Zaydes - so Mikey gets his money and people stumble around everywhere with 'Feeds' whilst Solly eats olives. Cool?

Solly makes a shameless plug

Ever since I mentioned scandimatch in this blog I have been asked (and offered recompense) to mention swedishdatingonline and their other site scandinaviandating.  Apparently this all helps the SEO stuff I mentioned yesterday.  Why a Yiddishe site helps Scandinavian daters is a mystery to me but the offer of money seems real enough;-)

She sits upright in her high chair!

Bang on target our little 6 month old darling sits upright in her chair and I have  the photos to prove it!  Lots of great stuff on facebook for me to admire.  They grow so quickly, soon she will be chattering away.  Unfortunately I cant spend time with her right now, I am travelling but she knows I am thinking about her all the time.   I will be away for a while but I will also have time to work on things for this blog and the promotion of Zaydehood - young Mikey has given me a list of things I must do to promote the blog and make it it more successful - it's called SEO and it is something Mr Google invented so it must be good.  I'll let you know how I get on.

Let the paddy fields rejoice - she is on baby rice!

It only seems like yesterday when my little angel was all small, puny and underweight and the health visitor was giving stern warnings to my daughter.  Now, less than 6 months on the little sweetheart is on baby rice and she loves it!  What next?  I start fantasising about taking her for meals with all the things that kids love (and nutritionists hate) - if she is like her old zayde she will have a sweet tooth so ice cream will be high on her list of choices.  Her mother is not one to turn her nose up at a dessert menu either so I guess it is in the genes.

The little one has her first big social engagement coming up with the 6 month party - bring a milk bottle - and I hope she will be wearing the party dress I bought for her.  You never know on these things, zaydehood is competitive and other grandparents might have sneaked in with their own ideas as to what she should wear for her first photoshoot.   Grandparents can be tricky that way and it is a big deal to have provided the first party dress.  I know my daughter reads my ramblings so this is to remind her as well that Solly expects to see the correct dress on the facebook shoot!

Now the early baby phase has passed I can start looking at a more interesting range of pressies for my next visit.  I will be travelling for a while now but with skype and facebook I will still feel part of everything.

Solly is further astonished..

Oy, as if the morning wasn't exciting enough. I just did what mikey calls an 'ego search' - I typed 'solly cohen' into google search and among 735000 results yours truly is top of the tree!
Imagine that! 5 short months ago I was an unknown ageing Jewish gentleman anonymously wandering the streets of N.W.London now I am the most famous solly Cohen in town. I phoned and told my other cousin Zalek the news, we have been chatting a lot recently because he is very into this Internet stuff. He recently launched a site for unfortunate disabled daters called www.disability match.co.uk which seems like a good idea. He has been very helpful to me in my venture and boy was he impressed with my ego results. "bravo Solly" he said "we will make a cyber-maven of you yet!"

Google loves zaydes!

It's true, google loves and respects 'zaydehood'! I always knew that google was there to help zaydes along with those other lovely people Mr Skype and Mr EBay. After all google generously gave me this bit of cyber space to put down my ramblings at absolutely no cost to myself. Now, like mana from heaven google have sent me £70.00 for just being there which is almost as much as the government pays me each week for being here all my life. When Dov's son Mikey told me to monetize the blog I ticked the spot and thought nothing more about it, but now...oy the gifts I will soon be able bestow on those I love through the good offices of the fine google organisation. So the way forward is clear, if you see a little ad on this page please click it - you will find worthwhile products and services and google will help impoverished zaydes everywhere!

Solly takes the train

This was a wonderful week, I made the trip into the English countryside to see my daughter and the amazing little darling.  They have moved into a charming small house which is perfect for brnging up a child.  My, she had grown!  All worries about her weight had vanished.  She was a real little bubbala with cheeks justs asking to be pinched.  Best of all was she recognised me and gave me a wonderful smile that melted every atom of my being.

We spent a wonderful day drifting around the town which is a splendid mixture of old and new.  Then we drifted into Baby Gap oy, these people are so clever, the design, the imagination the temptations.  I knew that the darling has a 6month party coming up soon so I found her the cutest, sweetest party dress - I await the photos.  And, since spring is in the air a lovely daffodil coloured t-shirt when she is out in her buggy.  Apparently the famous bugaboo is soon going to convert from pram to buggy.  I guess thats why they are so pricey, they have lots of great features.

Next weekend is Purim which is a wonderful festival for the kids - I used to love it, in fact I had an email from the shul inviting me to a Purim fair next sunday, I think I will attend, Dov's wife mystic Myra will be helping out - she is very community conscious like that.  Maybe they will let me have a go on a dreidel I used to love that.  They probably have it as an IPhone app these days but it won't compare to the weight of the wood when you spin it.  I so hope my little sweetie has the chance to enjoy all the fun festivals, it is part of the magic of a Jewish childhood.

Solly gets some culture

Last nite I was schlepped to a concert at the snowy wastes city hall.  Very nice too,  and I didn't even sleep.  I was a bit perplexed though when I heard Deutchland Uber alles being played but apparently Haydn wrote it before Hitler.  I have been so excited  about my new granddaughter photos and I have been telling everyone I meet about Skype.  They might well notice a small impact in their Scandinavian business this week! 

I must admit it has been a good day for Solly (its my birthday actually) and I heard that my old Poker group in West london is being revived after the club closed.  Great news for me, I enjoy a game of cards and its not with the shul crowd so it makes a pleasant change.  At my shul its mostly bridge and kaluki which are not really my thing.  I remember my own zayde was a whiz at gin rummy and we used to play a lot.  I enjoy playing Texas hold 'em which is quite a diffficult game to master and rather akin to chess in its permutations.  I read a lot on the mathmatics of it all and makes for a nice hobby.

Thank you Mr Skype!

I am blogging from Europe's snowy wastes in sub-zero temperatures and my adored granddaughter is sucking her thumb a thousand miles away.  I havent't seen her for a couple of weeks now and I am getting edgy about it.  I have another 10 days here in the frozen north, a blog to write and no muse :-)  But wait! What logo in yonder laptop stands?  It is the baby blue of Skype and it is chirping at me.  A couple of clicks and - Gevult! She is there (in full screen mode) shaking her rattle at me.  Am I dreaming?  What a boon to Zaydes the world over, live video of your grandchild brought to your very own computer scree  FOR FREE!  And boy, I would have paid good money to see that little face smiling at me.  "It's yoir Zayde!" I shouted down the microphone, a smile of recognition, a gurgle and seizing my moment I clicked 'take snapshot' and there she was on my desktop!  Amazing, I really don't know who is a better friend to Zaydes, Mr Skype or Mr Google.

My shiksa girlfriend - who is Scandinavian - asked me to mention to my followers that there is a great website out there called www.scandimatch.com that lets british zaydes (and younger) to meet Scandinavian shiksa babes at a very good price.  All her friends are on there trying to get their own Solly.  Women are competitive that way.

Solly 'fesses up..

When I started this blog I kept it secret from my immediate family. I felt that I would be inhibited if I knew that the blog characters were following my thoughts. But as time passed I felt that I really ought to tell my daughter that she formed part of my blog material. So I 'fessed up and the reaction was less caustic than I feared. I then realised that my initial reservations were well-placed and I do feel inhibited in my output. On the other hand solly has a lot of followers in the zaydehood who enjoy his ramblings so I am back in business! Unfortunately I don't have day to day contact with the little darling now they have moved out of town. I am also travelling for a couple of weeks. I will therefore talk more about zaydehood in general rather than chronicling the little darling's every move. I should mention though that she is now a dab hand with her rattle. Like so many zaydes I live for the photos...

Solly says good by to the Florida sunshine

Oy, back to London and the winter chill.  At least I see my little angel this week but oh dear what do I do when the family move down to Cambridge?  I still don't have a solution.  Maybe a skype call with webcam whilst I go through withdrawel symptoms?  Maybe a season ticket to Cambridge?  Maybe I should actuall finish my doctorate????
Bye for now

Solly

The aligator looked like a guy from shul

I did the tourist stuff today and went to Everglades.  This was 'touristico' to the extreme.  The whole airboat  thing took the same time as a disney ride and was just as authentic an experience.  Sure we saw a few aligators with their heads peering out from the water and a dozen nice birds but it was hardly the Amazon.  After a 25 minute boat ride where you could sense the motorway 300 yards to your left we were herded into a mini theatre to see a 'professioonal' wrestle with Larry the aligator.  "This is Larry" announces the big black professional  reptile wrestler. "Larry is an aligator - or a 'gator' as we call them in these parts'.  "Now don't do this at home" he says as he proceeds to stick his head into Larry's open mouth.  Larry was safely yawning after doing his schtick for the 100th time this month, no one dies except the audience.

Back to Miami for a great steak - I didnt ask if it was kosher but it was very tasty.

Solly lets his roots get the better of him

Today i visited the Museum of Florida Jewry in Miami.  It was easy to find and just tucked behind Ocean Drive around 3rd st.  Nice building, classic deco and a front of building security guy who was strictly 21st century.  Probably important to have heavy security, noit everyone wishes us well.  Nor, apparently did earlier generations of locals.  Indeed much of the museaums' treasures focus on discrimination and oppression.  Swathes of exhibits are concerned with the injustice meted out to a certain Leo Franke who was imprisoned and subsequently lynched for a murder he could not possibly have committed i.e he was a nice Jewish boy!

The museum itself is lovely and is run by a group of women who all look like aunts of mine.  In fact when I saw the guide I thought she was my Auntie Yentl risen from her tomb.  She even talked incessantly like Yentl with a sort of 'old country' accent and manner that cries out to be oppressed.  These people do a great job and I enjoyed myself a lot.  If you accept their video presentation Florida was build from Jewish blodd, sweat and tears.  Just to even stuff up a bit I should pop into a Cuban museum.

Solly does Miami

Noo, you thought I never left Golders Green didn't you? Well I do sometimes and here I am in South Beach Miami.  Although I do spend a lot of time loitering in London I do have some vague real world activities and one of them has brought me over here to the United States.  I'm staying at my niece's place - Judith has a smallish condo here on West Ave and she is visiting friends in New York for a couple of weeks so  it fitted in with travel plans. Oy, did it rain here yesterday!!!  No one told me to pack an umbrella so I actually had to buy one.  It was torrential but they say it will be sunny today. 

Havent had a chance to move around much yet but did a city tour yesterday on a bus and boat to pass the time and get oriented with the locale.  Lots of Jewish history here, sure I will fit in.  At least here a Zayde can feel among his own.

Still a bit jet-lagged will blog more soon

Solly

Solly, Dov and Mikey discuss strategy

Went for a falafel with Dov and his son Mikey after shul tonight.  I really enjoy the pita bread makes me feel i'm back in Israel.  In fact I'm going to suggest to our Rabbi that we have falafel for our monthly Torah breakfast when we are studying parashat hashavua bo.   We had a lot of hits to the blog yesterday, its all building nicely and I have had some good emails of support.  But we have a major problem looming,  my daughter and her nice goy are moving out of London to Cambridge where he is going to be a lecturer- he has quite a kopf on him!  Maybe Solly should be a scholar too?

How will I survive?? Where will the little smiles and gurgles come from now?  Keep reading and following and my strategy will become clear (maybe).

2 days of joy worth waiting for.

So the girlfriend and I turned up like the Magi bearing gifts.  As I mentioned earlier there was a hebrew reading primer from Oy Toys (I still can't believe the name) an exquisite snow suit from my partner in a lovely shade of pink (no gender re-inforcement here!) and the cutest ever pair of blue jeans that I picked up on the Kings Rd.  The jeans are so sweet with little diamante details around the pockets and for 6 months to 1 year.  When I bought them at the Replay boutique other shoppers gurgled their approval at my choice. I don't want to spoil my little angel but I noticed that my local jewelry store is closing and selling off stock and they had a lovely silver charm bracelet that would make a nice pressie when she is a bit older.  All our largesse bought us 2 afternoons of cuddles and smiles and a load of photos to load onto my private facebook page.

She's back, I'm back!!!

The festive season is over (NB I avoid the use of Christmas - Yiddishe blog etc) and my little darling perfectly formed jewish granddaughter is back in London.  How I have missed her!  It came as rather a surprise that her other set of grandparents (those nice goys I mentioned) had cuddle rights for almost a month - thats 10% of her little life.  But today I get her back.  Along with the usual clothes and cuddly toys as pressies I also got her her first Hebrew reading book from oytoys.com - yes it exists oytoys!  On the subject of 'oy' she has started murmuring something that apparently sounds like 'oy oy oy'  my own father Morry has been reincarnated.

I'll  report more on all this tomorrow when I have seen her.

Happy new year
from Solly